Mark Beeson spoke this weekend about different approaches to desire. We can try to extinguish our desires, we can allow them to drive us in any direction, or we can order our desires, deciding which ones will take precedent over the rest.
DC Curry (our student ministries director) said something in a staff meeting that really stuck with me: never forsake what you want most for what you want in the moment. This is what it means to order our desires.
But all of this begs a question. Do you know what you want?
Most days move too fast for me to be aware of what’s really driving me. It’s only in a quiet minute at the end of the night or during a rare moment of perspective in the middle of the rush that I am able to take stock of the tangled web of desires that are operating in me. How about you?
Maybe you don’t understand that the reason you’re so frustrated with a friend is because you crave community and haven’t found much of it in a long time. Maybe you’re unaware of how badly you want control over something in life. Maybe you can’t figure out why work is so draining because you don’t know how badly you long to be a part of something significant, and your job doesn’t seem to matter. Maybe you don’t know that there’s a direct correlation between when you look at porn and when you feel stressed because you desire some kind of relief.
We might think we know what we want, but our lives might be serving some other desires. And when we don’t know what our desires are, it’s difficult to put them in order.
Psalm 139 begins by saying, “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.” Later, David writes, “Search me, O God, and know my heart.” But David said that God has already searched him… He already knows him. So the prayer isn’t just about what God will do. It’s about David’s participation in it. To ask God to search you is to ask Him to show you what He sees.
Will you take a few minutes today to consider what's driving you? Ask God to help you sort through your motivations. It wouldn't be a bad thing to write them down. Later this week we’ll consider what to do now that everything’s out on the table.
God, don’t let us be unaware. Search our hearts and help us understand ourselves. We’ll do our part – we’ll make space in our day for You to show us what’s true. We’re counting on you to help us.
In Jesus’ name,