control freak

Somewhere buried inside of me is the inherent belief that, if I could just have complete control, everything would be perfect.  And in those moments when it’s not so buried, I have the charm of a love child spawned by Hitler and Mussolini.  I like to believe that with enough lead-time and control, I can guarantee the perfect result.  I guess, if I play that out, I think I could make a pretty good God.  Is that crazy?  Absolutely. 

I like Hurley t-shirts (slimfits, to be precise).  If I could, I’d have a standing subscription for Hurley to send me a medium of every tee they produce.  It makes things easy.  Every morning, I just wake up and grab another shirt and throw it on with a pair of jeans.  It’s a little way for me to feel in control of something.  No surprises.  No decisions to make in the morning. 

However, one night I was leading worship for our midweek service, playing guitar.  Bob Laurent was teaching that night, and when he came up after our first set, he asked me to stay on stage with him.  Then he pointed out what had been obvious to about a thousand people (but not me); with my guitar strap covering up part of my chest, my shirt clearly read ‘hurl’.   

As you can imagine, I decided it was time to take control and fix the situation.    

I made a special trip to a different store just to get a shirt to wear on stage. And I found it.  I wore it for the next service I was leading, and I was feeling in control again.

Until about five minutes after the service ended.  I started getting text messages.  And phone calls.  I thought the shirt I was wearing said “Analog”.  But here’s what my church saw:

I suppose there’s a little irony in all of this.  Who knew my personality would be so accurately diagnosed for everyone to see?  I know it’s plainly obvious to the people who know me that I wouldn’t make a very good God, but sometimes I need my own reminders.  It’s good to wake up in a universe where the One In Charge actually has the capacity to manage it.  I can’t even pick out a good t-shirt.